Yesterday was bipolar awareness day. (I'm aware, are you?)
Ridiculous: WE GET ONLY ONE DAY?! I have half a mind to quit taking my Lithium and get really angry about this. (That part was a joke. You can all laugh now.)
Shockingly, it was also yesterday that I thought to myself...."I wonder what month bipolar awareness month is?" I put those quotation marks there because I think out loud. I'm a moderately raging bipolar, so this sort of behavior is expected of me. *Strokes imaginary beard, sticks a cigar in ear, looks askance*
Being the extreme procrastinator that I am, I didn't bother utilizing Google until today, and then I realized that I only had ONE DAY, and I missed it.
THEREFORE - I officially pronouce the entire month of October to be bipolar awareness month. Become aware! If you don't become aware, you will by Halloween, at which point we'll all do this really tasteless Doctor Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde bit. It will be hilarious and not at all classy. Get ready for that.
New subject.
Exactly one week from today, I will find myself in Reno, Nevada. I will have to get there by way of plane, because it would seem that jogging is out of the question. (I'm lazy, recall that part?)
It has been nearly 20 years since I have been in any sort of flying contraption, and I am not excited in the least. To be brutally honest with the lot of you, I am horrified. The fear of flying, for me, far exceeds my fear of anything else in the world. More than spiders, monkeys, spider-monkeys, childbirth without drugs, giant squid, and even going out in public without cosmetics. Egads! I've been waking up with intense panic attacks and thoughts of certain doom. Also, all of this "It's safer than driving!" bullshit does not help me in the slightest. I'm not afraid of a plane crash (although I admit, that would be pretty scary), I'm afraid of the SKY. I don't want to be in the sky. I don't even like to LOOK at the sky, do you understand? Clouds are nice, because they prevent me from seeing this seemingly endless nothingness, which I am now expected to be up in.
I will be very drunk, just so you know. In might be my secret plan to be too drunk to be allowed on the plane. Don't tell anyone. (I wont really do that, though it has crossed my mind.)
I looked into an online fear of flying course. I stopped looking when I happened across the price, which is damn near close to being as much as my mortgage. Damnable.
New plan: wear earplugs, put on one of those eye-masks made for sleeping, be severely intoxicated and pay someone to soothingly pat me on the head. I'm not sure why that last part, but I figure it will make sense when the time comes.
I will pretend to be elsewhere!
When I arrive in Reno, I will sob loudly, kiss the ground, and vomit profusely. I'm lazy though, so I wont get around to any of this until the next day.
Help.
